Why Do You Push Me Away?
by TheDrugelis
Summary: My feelings for someone, put into a Loveless situation. Four Parts. Finally over.
1. Part One

_**Summary:**_ **My feelings for someone, put into a Loveless situation.**

**Disclaimer: All Loveless characters belong to Yun Kouga.**

Soubi sighed, dangling a round locket by its chain. It was a symbol that he loves Ritsuka with all of his heart and soul. He'd put a picture of Ritsuka on one side, along with them together in the other. Except, no matter how often he would love for Ritsuka to ask: 'what's in the locket, Soubi?' the boy never would. He doubted he's even glanced at it.

He doesn't understand the large amount of love Soubi desires to give him. Although, how can he with his life still in pieces from his only brother's "death". That's still not an excuse though, to ignore the fact that he's loved though and he's hurting not only himself, but ones who do love him.

"Ritsuka, if I could only hear those words," he whispered into the darkness, only the moon's glow shining in. "Please.. just one time.. say 'I love you'." He looked up at the ceiling and sighed again. He rolled over in his bed, slamming his face into a pillow. He _needed _Ritsuka, not just wanted, _needed._

It amazed Soubi how one person can just make you smile, without even thinking about it. Just seeing them brightens your day. Also, that, that one person can make you hurt and don't even recognize it. Is this 'love' just a cruel, sick joke that someone is playing on us all? Is that honestly all we want in the world, is to feel that emotion, when knowing that all it does is lead into pain? Those without this feeling of love feel empty, their hearts become cold, and shut the world out.

Is that what you've become, Ritsuka? Someone who doesn't want to feel love and hates everyone else for it? I'm nothing like him, Ritsuka. I won't leave you or want to kill you. You're my hope and the only thing I need to keep living. Just don't fully break my heart, okay?

_This is the edited version. Proof-read. Originally posted: 7-10-07._


	2. Part Two

Soubi smothered his face into the pillow, sighing happily. Ritsuka was happy with Soubi today, no yelling at him to go away or glares of anger. Just Ritsuka sitting down with Soubi in the park and enjoying the day. Everything seemed perfect today, there wasn't any need for a love in between them, just their friendship was all.

Sometimes Soubi wished he knew what to do when Ritsuka was having those troubled days. Though sometimes he didn't even want to help him cope with this pain. It was mainly over his precious Seimei right? The jerk who leaves you when you need them the most. Yeah, that's all Seimei was, a con artist who takes what he needs and when he gets it he leaves you to perish.

"Ritsuka, you're still in pain from something that shouldn't. Seimei wasn't all that his appearance gave you to see." Soubi tossed the locket against the wall, watching it break in half and the pictures falling out. "I give up, Ritsuka. I'm not falling with you." Soubi stared up at the ceiling, a glint of tear in his eyes.

_This is the edited version. Proof-read. Originally posted: 7-17-07._


	3. Part Three

Soubi lit his cigarette with disgust._'Damn this habit.' _He thought to himself, taking a long drag from the hated stick. Ritsuka's hand was in Soubi's pocket, intertwined with Soubi's free hand and he walked along with the blonde down the side walk.

They didn't speak, they understood what they had at that moment. A deep friendship that could include benefits if they desired. Even if they fought, something could bring them back together instantly.

The air was cold, so Ritsuka cuddled himself closer to the older man. Soubi smiled to himself, enjoying the warmth Ritsuka gave him and the warmth he gave Ritsuka.

The teenager smiled widely as he caught a glimpse of Yuiko and Yayoi down the street. He tugged on Soubi's arm, looking up at him, and looking curious.

Soubi let his hand go, smiling back, and waving as Ritsuka stepped away.

Perhaps it was better this way? Just friends...

The three began to chat and Soubi sat down on the side bench, watching them. Yes... This was much better. Better than having nothing at all.

End.

_This is the edited version. Proof-read. Originally posted: 12-19-07._


	4. Part Four End

_It didn't have to end. You didn't have to lie to my face. I trusted you! I gave you everything I had to give! You took it, used it, and abused it._

_I refuse to believe you. You lie. You lie! Stop saying it._

_But, I loved you. You said you loved me as well..._

_Ritsuka, why? Did I not do as you please? Did I not try hard enough? I can do better, I'll listen... I'll obey... please..._

_I'm crying again. You rip my heart out so many times... I won't come back this time..._

_You don't care... You won't call for me. You have the real Loveless... The one you can call your own._

_I hope they can please you, the way I couldn't. And maybe they'll even earn your true love.  
_

Good bye, Ritsuka.

-Soubi.


End file.
